Hi, my name is Tess and I'm a shopaholic.

I never thought I would say those words or, rather, type them. I know I like to spend money. I know I get a thrill from walking in to a store with a wallet full of cash or plastic, then walking out with bags and bags of things I probably didn't even need.

If I could pinpoint an exact moment in which I realized this about myself, it would probably have to be about 11 years ago.

When I was 10, my dad started giving me a $5.00 allowance every Saturday. For a 10 year old with no expenses, $5.00 seemed like so much money. I was so excited for every weekend because it meant I would get more green stuff. I thought all week about what wonderful things I could spend my money on. That was my first problem.

Being as it was, my allowance came from my dad. There was nothing magical about getting the money on Saturday, I often asked for my allowance one day early, each Friday. Back then, I spent a good portion of my Friday nights having sleepovers or late nights with my best friends. We would always shanghai someone in to bringing us to a local grocery store so we could stock up on junk food and treats for our sleepovers. As such, I needed my allowance early. I couldn't be the only one without money for our snacks. I had to contribute. We always needed something chocolaty, something sweet, something salty, and something fruity. My friends and I would split the cost so I needed my allowance in order to pay my share.

Every Friday night, I would go to my dad and ask if I could have my allowance early. I always had the best reasons and stories to explain why I needed my $5.00 and why I could simply not bear to wait the extra day. That was my second problem.

Not only was I theoretically spending my money before I even got it, I also constantly asked to receive it one day early. I had big plans for those $5.00 long before I even laid my hands on them.

Fast forward to when I was 16 years old and I got my first 'real job'. I worked for KFC and I got paid weekly, every Thursday for the previous week. I usually worked between 15-25 hours so I knew I would be getting at least $100.00 and up to about $175.00 each week. That was a huge step up from my previous $5.00 per week.

My first paycheck came and that's when things really took a turn. I got a good amount of money, considering my age, and yet I never had any clue where it all went. Thus, my third problem.

As soon as my money hit my account, I was living large. I treated myself and my friends to lunch, I bought whatever seemed appealing and I didn't think twice. Then Friday rolled around, my account was back to $0.00, and I was plotting the ways to spend my next paycheck.

I went on living this way until I turned 18 and I was able to get my own credit card. At this time in my life, I was working 2 jobs and brining in about $800.00 per month. Although I did pay for gas for my car, the majority of my money went wherever I wanted it to go. More often than not, that meant it was going straight down the drain. I'm sure you can guess what happened as soon as I got that pretty piece of plastic, rounding us out with problem number four.

I knew the concept of the credit card but mostly I was just glad that I had this sudden extra money. I got my first credit card in December (bad idea, Christmas shopping went way over board) and I don't think I've had it paid off for more than 2-3 months in the past 3 years. I always find something else I need to buy or some other thing to purchase that I think will make my life better.

A secret I've learned through this process is this; Money cannot buy happiness. Money can buy me Diet Coke, and new earrings, and another comfy blanket, but that is not happiness. I find joy in those things, yes, but no amount of Diet Coke, no mountain of earrings, and no monstrous size of a comfy blanket can bring me true and everlasting happiness.

I'm still right in the middle of this process of figuring out what is a need and what is a want, I'm learning to budget and to make myself wait before I run out and spend every last penny.

It's been a long way coming but I'm seeing the blessings that come when I just leave my money alone. For quite some time, I've had the misconception that if I don't spend my money right away, it won't be available later. This is such backwards thinking but it's what I've believed for the past 11 years.

It's high time that I get excited over the dollar amount in my bank account, not over the number of shopping bags that I have to lug in to the house. It's time that I check my account daily not to see how much I can spend but to see how much I have saved!

Kyle and I are on our own path of financial planning and it hasn't been pretty. We've had our lowest lows and our highest highs in the past, nearly, 3 years we have been together. Through financial disasters and financial freedoms, we have gained experience that we never could have learned in a book. This is our life and it's been extremely messy on the money front so we are cleaning things up.

Today is Wednesday. On any other week I would have gone to multiple stores every day and by Wednesday we would have been broke. If it's a payday week, that seemed okay since we got paid on Thursday. If it wasn't a payday week, we would be hurting and barely getting by for the following week.

I'm done living paycheck to paycheck. I'm done walking in to a store and walking out with junk. I'm done getting a thrill over the number of shopping bags I can hang on Ellen's stroller. I'm done being a shopaholic.

It's a process, as is any addiction. As hard as it is for me to admit it to myself and to others, I will admit it. My name is Tess and I have a shopping addiction. I used to think that my addiction was okay because I always shop sales, clearance sections, and I find the best bargains. No matter how valid my excuse for buying something, the result was still the same; no money.

This will not be an easy addiction to overcome, nor will it be a simple habit to break. I need to fill my life with the people and the moments that bring true joy. I need to be okay with leaving the money alone. I need to be okay with the things we have. I need to learn to collect moments and memories, not things.

I'm no financial planning expert and I promise you I will have hard days as I get through this addiction. My hope in sharing my story is that I can inspire someone else to be a little better. I do not profess to have all the answers and honestly, at this point, I'm kind of winging it.

I want to hold myself accountable to my family as well as to my readers because you all matter so much to me.

I'm done. I'm done feeling this way. I'm doing being an addict. Give me 6 months and I'll show you how far I've come.