Today, $231.00 in cash was stolen from my wallet while my family and I were swimming.

I bet I know what you're thinking.

"Why were you carrying that much cash?"
"Was the locker securely locked?"
"It's your own fault for not having a padlock."
"You shouldn't have brought your wallet in to the building."
"That's what happens when you leave valuables in the open."
"You were asking for it."

THAT is what is wrong with society as a whole. Whenever something goes wrong, when something is stolen or someone is raped, it's immediately the victim's fault. In the case of rape, the victim was "wearing promiscuous clothing" or "showing too much cleavage". There was "too much visible cleavage" and the perpetrator "couldn't resist". Why have we turned on the victims?

I'll answer the questions I assume you're asking in your head.

Kyle and I went to Walmart this morning to get a few groceries, just like we always do on Saturday mornings. While there, I got $200.00 in cash out of the ATM. We have a cash-only budget system for the time being, so I was just monetarily preparing us for the next week. The ATM gave me 2 - $50.00 bills and 5 - $20.00 bills.
In my wallet, I had $36.00 left over from last week. One $10.00 bill, 4 - $5.00 bills, 6 - $1.00 bills.

We went home after getting our groceries and we were there for a few hours before we went to the local recreation center with some friends. I didn't take the cash out of my wallet, knowing that we had to go to Sam's Club and one more place while we were out again.

Once at the recreation center, we had to get a new membership card printed for Kyle. Ellen had been playing with his wallet recently and we somehow misplaced his ID card. The cost was $5.00 for a re-printed card. I paid with one of my $5.00 bills.

We got through the front gate and went to the family locker room. We found an empty changing room fairly close to the entrance, so Kyle, Ellen, and I went in to the room to change in to our swimsuits.
My swimsuit was in Ellen's diaper bag, alongside her swimsuit and swim diaper. I removed the clothes and diaper and put my wallet at the bottom of her bag. Once we were changed out of our street clothes, I placed them back in her diaper bag on, purposefully covering my wallet and iPhone.

When we walked out of the changing room, we found a small locker quickly and put our belongings in it. I hung the diaper bag on a small hook, while the towels and shoes were sitting below in the locker. We closed the locker and walked to our friends, then we all proceeded to the indoor pool area.

Fast forward 40 minutes. The little girls were ready to be done swimming so we got out of the pool. Kyle saved us a larger family changing room (which had a shower in it) while I walked to our locker to get our clothes and Ellen's diaper bag.

We got dressed and I didn't think to open my wallet. I saw it was still there, at the bottom of the bag, along with my phone. I thought nothing of it.

After we were done at the recreation center, we went with our friends to Olive Garden. We enjoyed great friends, yummy food, and good conversations until we were finished eating. At the end of our meal, it was time to pay. I knew I wanted to pay with a card but I was going to get out some of my cash for our portion of the tip. I opened Ellen's diaper bag and reached in to get my wallet. When I opened my wallet, I expected to see my cash in the same place it had been when we began swimming. Instead, I saw nothing. No cash. $231.00 was gone.

I immediately told Kyle what had happened. I knew it had to have been taken while we were swimming because I paid the $5.00 for Kyle's new ID, which meant I had the remaining cash in my wallet. Instead, it was gone.

While we were walking out of the restaurant, I called the recreation center. I explained what had happened and I asked if they had video cameras in the area where the theft took place. They said yes, but that in order to have the tapes reviewed, I would need to file a police report.

Kyle and I drove to the local police department. After parking, getting Ellen out of her carseat, and walking up the steps to the front door, we found that they were closed. They had an after-hours number on the door, so I called it. We are waiting for an officer to call us back concerning the theft.

Now, I know I will most likely never get that money back, and the thief doesn't care. They didn't care while they took my diaper bag out of the locker. They didn't care while they opened the bag, or while they moved my daughter's toys, diapers, and clothes. They didn't care when they opened my wallet. I am sick to my stomach that someone could do that. Little did they know, that's all we have for the next week. That's diaper money, baby formula money, gas money for Kyle to get to work. The thief doesn't care and will probably never face a judge, on this earth, for their crime.

While driving home, I thought of all of the small decisions that lead to this. I started victim shaming myself, saying things like "I shouldn't have taken the cash out of the ATM this morning", "I should have left my wallet in the car", and "I should have used a padlock". Saying these things is like telling a rape victim that they "Should have covered up more" and "They shouldn't have acted so seductively".

I cannot control the mind of the thief, nor the mind of a rapist. My actions have consequences, yes, but I am not at fault for their choices.

To the person who stole $231.00 dollars from my family today, I hope that one day, you feel guilty. I hope you feel sorry for what you did to us. I hope you change. I hope you make better choices in the future. I hope you NEVER make another family hurt the way that we are hurting now. No matter how valid the excuse, the result is still the same. This was not my fault. I am the victim. You made your choice. You stole from my family and I am unwilling to forgive you at this time.