It's silly to compare two things that are not equal. Yet, I do it all the time.
I look at my life and then I look at someone else's life. Their life seems so much better. They have more money, prettier hair, a bigger house, a nicer car, and the list goes on. I see these people and I ask myself so many questions. Why can't I have what they have? Why can't I be who they are?
We are not the same. We are not in the same place in life. We are not equal.
And that's okay.
Recently, I've been making plans and setting goals with Kyle. We want to be debt free, we want to buy a house, we want better cars... I could go on forever. I make these plans with Kyle, plans to get where we'd like to be and specific steps to take in order to get there. Even so, I wish we were already where we are going. I see my siblings or others who seem to have it all together. They have such big, nice homes, nice cars, and seem to be living the dream that I keep having. I wonder if it will ever be a reality for my small family and I get discouraged seeing everyone around me living out my dream.
I often forget that doing so is like comparing peaches to plums.
Both fruit, yes. Both sweet, sure. Both round, you bet! Yet they are not the same. Therefore it is silly to try to compare them to one another. Comparing two peaches would be better, you could go off of how ripe they are, if there are bruises or not, how sweet they taste. You may do the same with plums. However, when you start to compare the two, very different fruits, to each other, you'll only be disappointed.
When I look at other people who seem to have a better life than mine and start to discredit my life and my accomplishments, it's not fair to myself. I cannot compare Kyle and I and our 2 month old daughter to a family with a couple who has been married for 10 years and has 4 kids. We are the same in that we are both families but we are not the same in many other aspects. I cannot compare my life to the life of someone who's got 10 years on me, or 15 years, or even more. I just can't.
Sometimes it gets discouraging because I wish I could be in their shoes. I wish I had the big house. I wish I had the nice car. I wish I had no debt. I wish I was done with college already. I wish, I wish, I wish...
Those other couples that I see have been where I am now. They've had to learn and grow and progress just like I am doing right now. I can't expect to fast forward my life to match theirs.
This is such a hard concept for me to accept and to understand but I'm doing my best. When I was single, I couldn't wait to be married. When I got married, I couldn't wait to have kids. When I had a child, I couldn't wait to have more. Just as when I lived at my parent's house, I couldn't wait to have my own apartment. When I had my own apartment, I couldn't wait to have my own house. It seems like I just can't get to where I want to be because someone always has it better than I do.
It's true, someone will always be "better".
There will always be a bigger house. There will always be a newer car. There will always be a bigger bank account.
Does that rob me and my family of our happiness? Nope. I can't compare my happiness to someone else's. What makes me happy may not make someone else happy; and what makes them happy may not be enough for someone else.
Each of those people that have a bigger house, nicer car, more children, or more money have all been in my shoes at some point. I can't expect to equally compare myself to them when we're not the same.
What I have is good. What I have is great. It's exactly what I need and what our family needs right now. It will teach us so many things and help us to grow in so many ways.
Here is my resolve to enjoy more fully the fruits that I have been blessed with and stop envying the fruit of someone else. We will get to where we'd like to be as a family. I know we will. It will happen in time.
I look at my life and then I look at someone else's life. Their life seems so much better. They have more money, prettier hair, a bigger house, a nicer car, and the list goes on. I see these people and I ask myself so many questions. Why can't I have what they have? Why can't I be who they are?
We are not the same. We are not in the same place in life. We are not equal.
And that's okay.
Recently, I've been making plans and setting goals with Kyle. We want to be debt free, we want to buy a house, we want better cars... I could go on forever. I make these plans with Kyle, plans to get where we'd like to be and specific steps to take in order to get there. Even so, I wish we were already where we are going. I see my siblings or others who seem to have it all together. They have such big, nice homes, nice cars, and seem to be living the dream that I keep having. I wonder if it will ever be a reality for my small family and I get discouraged seeing everyone around me living out my dream.
I often forget that doing so is like comparing peaches to plums.
Both fruit, yes. Both sweet, sure. Both round, you bet! Yet they are not the same. Therefore it is silly to try to compare them to one another. Comparing two peaches would be better, you could go off of how ripe they are, if there are bruises or not, how sweet they taste. You may do the same with plums. However, when you start to compare the two, very different fruits, to each other, you'll only be disappointed.
When I look at other people who seem to have a better life than mine and start to discredit my life and my accomplishments, it's not fair to myself. I cannot compare Kyle and I and our 2 month old daughter to a family with a couple who has been married for 10 years and has 4 kids. We are the same in that we are both families but we are not the same in many other aspects. I cannot compare my life to the life of someone who's got 10 years on me, or 15 years, or even more. I just can't.
Sometimes it gets discouraging because I wish I could be in their shoes. I wish I had the big house. I wish I had the nice car. I wish I had no debt. I wish I was done with college already. I wish, I wish, I wish...
Those other couples that I see have been where I am now. They've had to learn and grow and progress just like I am doing right now. I can't expect to fast forward my life to match theirs.
This is such a hard concept for me to accept and to understand but I'm doing my best. When I was single, I couldn't wait to be married. When I got married, I couldn't wait to have kids. When I had a child, I couldn't wait to have more. Just as when I lived at my parent's house, I couldn't wait to have my own apartment. When I had my own apartment, I couldn't wait to have my own house. It seems like I just can't get to where I want to be because someone always has it better than I do.
It's true, someone will always be "better".
There will always be a bigger house. There will always be a newer car. There will always be a bigger bank account.
Does that rob me and my family of our happiness? Nope. I can't compare my happiness to someone else's. What makes me happy may not make someone else happy; and what makes them happy may not be enough for someone else.
Each of those people that have a bigger house, nicer car, more children, or more money have all been in my shoes at some point. I can't expect to equally compare myself to them when we're not the same.
What I have is good. What I have is great. It's exactly what I need and what our family needs right now. It will teach us so many things and help us to grow in so many ways.
Here is my resolve to enjoy more fully the fruits that I have been blessed with and stop envying the fruit of someone else. We will get to where we'd like to be as a family. I know we will. It will happen in time.
